Thank You Note
It was Canadian Thanksgiving last weekend (yes, it does make more sense to celebrate closer to the actual harvest, doesn’t it?), and it got me thinking about all the things that are screwed up in our world. (You thought I was going to say, “things that I’m thankful for,” didn’t you? Heh heh. Gotcha).
Okay, so maybe that also got me thinking about all the things I’m thankful for. But mostly, how screwed up the world is right now.
Whenever I start to rail against the encroaching censorship, the widening divide between rich and poor, the creeping authoritarianism, the bludgeoning taxes that never seem to end, the burgeoning divisiveness between. . . well, everyone. . well, at that point, the HH looks at me calmly and says, “Yes, but the world has always been this way.”
According to him (okay, and history), human beings have always perpetrated atrocities against each other. We’ve almost always existed with some kind of unrest or fractiousness (to put it mildly). In fact, the generation in the West, say, starting after World War II, likely enjoyed one of the most productive and peaceful eras in human history. So really, the HH is saying, what the heck am I complaining about?
But the fact is, I and my cohorts (and those coming after us) are accustomed to living a life where basic physical safety and a peaceful country are givens. We haven’t had a war on our soil (recently). We expect most people in the country to share our basic Western values. We haven’t been afraid to step out of our homes for fear of being attacked or worse (mostly). We’ve been able to work hard, earn a good living, raise a family, and afford the necessities of life. Until recently.
Unfortunately, the assumed stability has all but disappeared at this point. We’ve got constant “protests” (when it devolves into threats and violence, is it still classified as a “peaceful protest”?) where police do virtually nothing to quell the mounting hatreds. We’ve got citizens choosing between rent and food–on a regular basis (apparently, here in Canada, we’ve reached the highest ever usage of food banks). We’ve got people in key positions of power, whether the media or those who rule (or those who rule without having been elected to do so) prevaricating on the regular or outright lying, sometimes even getting caught–and seeing no consequences.
No wonder people are jaded, angry and ready to boil over.
But one thing I hate more than acrimony is inaction. So what to do? What to do?
I asked myself that question (clearly, the HH was no help with this one) and came up with a few answers. Maybe some of these will be helpful for you, too.
Avoid the scroll-hole.
Okay, so maybe I included this one mostly because I recently learned the term, “scroll hole” and wanted to use it (I’m also rather fond of “doom scrolling”). Regardless, this is good advice. Stop scrolling.
By this point, we’ve got dozens (hundreds?) of studies proving how damaging excessive social media scrolling can be on one’s mental health. From bullying among teens and tweens to adults consuming too much “fake news” (aka “misinformation”) and becoming untethered from their moral compass, social media increases what are basically schoolyard fights online. It’s also just a real downer, never mind the fact it’s highly addictive and we begin to crave the constant dopamine hit.
So: I’ve sworn off social media (to be honest, my cell phone entirely) until I’ve completed some self-care and a couple of hours of work in the morning (to wit, writing this very column). Even more important, I’ve committed to turning off the phone at least an hour before bed, one of the worst times to scroll since it affects the quality of sleep. (Still working on that one).
Appreciate the mundane, quotidien aspects of life.
Like, seriously, is there anything better than a steaming mug of matcha in the morning (well, besides that awesome alliteration describing it, that is)?
I’ve been making a concerted effort to acknowledge and appreciate the “little things” in life. Because, let’s be honest, that IS, fundamentally, what life is all about.
So: my dogs wrestling in the morning. The ephemeral brilliance of the leaves changing colors. Hubby mindlessly caressing my arm as we watch Hacks. The satisfaction I feel after completing a knitting project. The smell of home fries and fried onions in a cast-iron pan. A warming bowl of thick, rich Moroccan Spiced Tomato Soup. The feel of tired legs after a long walk in the neighborhood. Uncontrollable belly laughs with my bestie.
[Spiced Moroccan Tomato Soup]
In other words, don’t discount all the good that’s still in front of you, right now, or the actions you can take on the daily to bring happiness into your life. Those things won’t be there forever.
Have some adventures.
With restrictions on movement already in place in some areas (France bans some domestic flights, England prevents people from driving beyond certain borders within their own city, et cetera) maybe now is the time to take those vacations to exotic locales you’ve been putting off. Maybe get out into the rest of the world a little more. . . even if it’s in your own neighborhood. Try out that new restaurant. Go to that cute little pottery shop downtown. Humans tend to garner happiness more from experiences than from things. . . so rack up more experiences.
Learn something new. (Besides, you might need it).
I love the phrase “lifelong learning.” It’s exactly what I intend to do. Studies have shown that we can lay down new neural pathways, well, basically until we die–so why not use those babies and learn something new with that cute little brain of yours? Besides, acquiring novel information and skills often leads to the hyper-focused state known as “flow,” which is great to take your mind off the coming apocalypse.
During the Depression, people became incredibly self-reliant and innovative in ways to save money and extend the life of clothing, food, and household items. They were the original “reduce, reuse, recycle” folks.
I used to cringe when my mom wiped off and then folded her sheets of aluminum foil to use again later. Or when my dad took the string from packages (because packages actually were “tied up with strings” in those days) and saved it in a big ball in one of the kitchen drawers. But they had a reason: they’d grown up in the aftermath of the Depression, they knew what it was like to go without, and they never got over it.
Maybe learn to garden, like the Brits with their Victory Gardens during both world wars. They also learned to forage (just be careful with those mysterious mushrooms, which could be poisonous). Back then, people also embraced bartering and helping each other when things got tough. Society may be headed back in that direction, so it’s not a bad idea to be ready.
Or lifelong learning might mean taking up a new language, learning a new hobby or game. I recently signed up for a mah jong class (which, apparently, is all the rage these days among middle-aged women). I’m glad I tried it, but it’s not my bag. Taking a class in something that interests you is a great way to get out into the world and appreciate everything it has to offer, though.
Be Thankful
My rumination all started with Thanksgiving and the concept of thankfulness. And despite all the difficulties, hardships and unprecedented occurrences we all have to deal with these days, I’m still thankful to be here, to be able to experience it all, even though it can be anxiety-inducing and beyond worrisome at times. As the saying goes, every day above ground is (still) a good day.
So let's be thankful we can still enjoy those mundane activities, still learn new things, still experience little adventures. And, as one of my friends noted, those of us alive in these times are witnessing first-hand what might be one of the greatest cultural shifts in human history. What a gift that is. And for that, I am (or, at least, try to be) truly thankful.
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Yeah, scrolling is bad. But I am going to watch my cat videos, I don't care what you say!