Trust is hard to earn and give. The earner underestimates constancy and the giver is often unconscious of their giving or denying of trust. We should just say it: "I want to earn your trust." "I want to give you my trust."
I love that idea. You know, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say to me or someone close to me, "I want to earn your trust." It would make the whole process so much easier, right?!
I would also like to read your fiction if you are interested in sharing.
I actually don't agree with the podcaster. In terms of what one has to lose wouldn't that include keeping yourself safe both physically and mentally. Now that is likely because i grew up in home that felt unsafe and where there no trust. So, does the outlook of the podcaster come from a combination of innate tendencies as well as positive early experiences?
Thanks so much, Jacquie. Well, if two requests is a trend, I'll definitely be sharing some fiction down the road! :)
I think the podcaster is generalizing (that is, she likely recognizes that people can be harmful, too), but she chooses to believe that, on average, people are good. I'm just assuming here--I don't know a lot of the details of how she feels in this area, obviously--but I'd say she is careful to keep her physical and mental selves as safe as possible while still giving people the benefit of the doubt. What I do know about her is that she grew up in poverty, lived on welfare, was from a split family with a drug-addicted father and never had a real home. Her mother and siblings moved from shelter to shelter for many years (she is very open about these details on her podcast). As an adult, she created a very prosperous life for herself by working really hard, and now lives each day striving to see the good and be happy. I love her outlook. Her name is Susie Moore and the podcast is Let It Be Easy. They're really short episodes, easy to listen to, and all very uplifting and positive.
Like you, I grew up in a home that had no trust. Over the years (and with lots of therapy, lol), I've come to believe that's not the best approach for my own happiness or for those in my life. So I'm working hard to change it. So far, I trust my dogs 100%. ;P
i also am working on trusting people more. Though i have to admit that it is slow slog and it doesn't take much for me to take a backward step. I guess it is a practice to look for the good in others and the world. And practice means exactly that practice. thought i'm totally on board with trusting the dogs. :)
Trust is hard to earn and give. The earner underestimates constancy and the giver is often unconscious of their giving or denying of trust. We should just say it: "I want to earn your trust." "I want to give you my trust."
I love that idea. You know, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say to me or someone close to me, "I want to earn your trust." It would make the whole process so much easier, right?!
Why are we not more declarative in our relations? Why must we guess at so much? This cannot be healthy.
I hear you, and I agree! Now tell that to my husband, please. ;-)
I would also like to read your fiction if you are interested in sharing.
I actually don't agree with the podcaster. In terms of what one has to lose wouldn't that include keeping yourself safe both physically and mentally. Now that is likely because i grew up in home that felt unsafe and where there no trust. So, does the outlook of the podcaster come from a combination of innate tendencies as well as positive early experiences?
Thanks so much, Jacquie. Well, if two requests is a trend, I'll definitely be sharing some fiction down the road! :)
I think the podcaster is generalizing (that is, she likely recognizes that people can be harmful, too), but she chooses to believe that, on average, people are good. I'm just assuming here--I don't know a lot of the details of how she feels in this area, obviously--but I'd say she is careful to keep her physical and mental selves as safe as possible while still giving people the benefit of the doubt. What I do know about her is that she grew up in poverty, lived on welfare, was from a split family with a drug-addicted father and never had a real home. Her mother and siblings moved from shelter to shelter for many years (she is very open about these details on her podcast). As an adult, she created a very prosperous life for herself by working really hard, and now lives each day striving to see the good and be happy. I love her outlook. Her name is Susie Moore and the podcast is Let It Be Easy. They're really short episodes, easy to listen to, and all very uplifting and positive.
Like you, I grew up in a home that had no trust. Over the years (and with lots of therapy, lol), I've come to believe that's not the best approach for my own happiness or for those in my life. So I'm working hard to change it. So far, I trust my dogs 100%. ;P
i also am working on trusting people more. Though i have to admit that it is slow slog and it doesn't take much for me to take a backward step. I guess it is a practice to look for the good in others and the world. And practice means exactly that practice. thought i'm totally on board with trusting the dogs. :)
We've gotta start somewhere, right? :D
Would love to read some of your fiction writing, Ricki!
Thanks, Amanda! I've got a few things in the works I could share. :)